वर

Well the Christmas card barrage is well underweigh, and pretty soon the mountain of paper, card and glittery stuff will be consigned to the recycling centres, to end up as toilet paper, egg boxes or something infinitely more useful.

Every year the same happens doesn't it? We make our lists of people who sent us cards last year, and use them as a fair guess as to how the game will be played. We write the cards and then play athe timing game. Too early is a pre-emptive strike which can pay dividends as it immediately raises a profile and puts others in a tricky spot. Now they may have you on their list, but if not, their list has to be modified, and so it goes on! The best salvo comes at the last minute. Make a subsidiary list of people that dod not send a card last year and hit them at the very last post before Christmas eve, or even better, hand deliver them when you know it is too late for retaliation. That way they will feel guilt at not being able to return fire.

Every year the cards get opened and one begins to think - Gosh is he still alive? or - Who on Earth is this? or Oh God not another Round Robin! These self aggrandisations are the ultimate weapon of course, against which there are no counterpunches. Some people begin them in January and have developed the art to an extent where recipients, upon opening the said delivery, immediately evacuate the contents of their alimentary canals and literally lose stomach for the fight. I strongly believe that regular offenders of this heinous crime, should be tried as war criminals.

I find that over the years, the quantity of cards has diminished substantially. I am no longer seen as a target. The quality of cards has not improved, though I have noted with some interest that this year, a large proportion of cards have been produced in China. How suitable! The true spirit of Christmas at last.

May you - my reader, have a wonderful holiday, and be grateful that you are not spending it with me. :-)