Friends

I have been spending time this weekend gone, with some old and dear friends, one of which i have known longer than anyone outside my own family. It got me to thinking about friendship and what it is all about. Friends are not easily come by and far to easy to lose, and over the years, many people have come and gone. Friendships, like plants, often need to be maintained, and it is so easy to forget to keep in touch. Yes it takes two to tango as the saying goes, but our lives are busy and it is simple to find excuses as to why we have failed to maintain contact.

I have never been good at keeping in contact with people by remote means. I was never a writer of letters when that was all there was, and the telephone is anathema to me. I always preferred face to face contact and without that, my own grasp on friendship seems to wither somewhat.

That doesn't mean that I ever forget anyone that has been important to me. I still have fond and lasting memories and feelings for so many people that I no longer see or hear from. Their voices are still in my head as are their faces clearly visible to me. They, however have moved on to pastures new and i have done the same. To go the distance really does require something special and that is something to be proud of and something to hold onto.

Some friends come and go very quickly when it becomes obvious that their lives can never really be entwined. An i guess that is where the real crux lies. In order to be real friends, there has to be a way of making sure that each lives at least in part, within the life of the other. It is about sharing and confiding, it is about loyalty and trust and it is about making sacrifices and giving to the other as well as receiving what they have to offer.

In a couple of weeks, by sheer coincidence, three of my oldest friends are descending within a two week window. Two of them will be here at the same time while the other is coming down the following week. They all know each other and none of us has met since we left school all those years ago. Then we were the closest of friends and did everything together. Well not quite everything - there were girls too! We have all moved on so much in all those years and I look forward to seeing them all, though it is with some trepidation that I do. We are not the same, we can never be. We lost touch, and probably for a reason, and so when we link up again, it will not be as close buddies but as strangers who once met on a train and who all got off at different stops.

For those who consider me a friend, thank you for being there and if i have neglected you in any way, then I am sorry. I do not do these things on purpose and I recognise this as a major flaw in a very flawed person. I hope that one day I may be forgiven