Wednesday

Well the day is here and so far so good. The world has not come to an end for all of us though undoubtedly it has for some. Each of us thinks of ourselves as central to the universe, and that is quite natural i guess. Everything goes on around us and so we have to be the pinpoint singularity of our own existence. One of the hard things about dying must be, leaving things undone. Perhaps it is like leaving a party early, against ones will. You know that behind you, people will go on having fun and that your departure is largely unnoticed.

Perhaps the world did come to an end and that we just haven't noticed yet! Maybe there are parallel worlds out there and we just slip from on to the other and that everything is infinite.

Anyway enough of that rubbish! I have the news that you have been waiting for! :-) Yesterday I saw the consultant. A lovely softly spoken gentleman who showed me the scan of my head. I was expecting to see my brain, but there was no evidence of it at all. What did show up though were the cavities in my skull that contain my ears. It was odd, knowing what i was looking at - i could see all of the tiny ear bones in the left ear and the air space that makes up the middle ear. Even parts of the inner ear could be identified. The right ear however looked very different and the space that should be filled with air is filled with a growth of some sort. Probably not vegetable, it has basically taken over like some alien invader and it has to be removed before it seeks out and finds my brain. Having said that, I couldn't find it, though i know that it is hiding in there somewhere.

So anyway, i have an october appointment with a knife, or a drill and hammer and chisel. I suspect the latter as they have to get inside the skull and attack the damn thing from the inside. It sounds quite gruesome and so pardon me if i don't talk too much about it now. Maybe if i am able, i will do so post the event. The doc was very keen to tell me that there are risks of nasty infections, nerve damage, loss of balance and not much hope of getting the hearing back, so all in all I am less than ecstatic. However, plenty of people go through far worse than I do and so i will not complain.

In a way i was hoping that a black hole would engulf us all today. I know it sounds selfish, but I'd hate to think that if i went alone, that people would not be talking about me after I'd left! I hate being ignored. :-)

May you all have a perfect day and be grateful that the loonies are probably wrong every time.