Out of control

When you go into hospital, the first thing that you lose is any control over what goes on. Your body, that you consider your own, becomes the property of the NHS, and you simply place it into the hands of strangers, that through necessity you trust.

I was instructed to report to the ward at 10.30 am for admission, and I, as always arrived punctually. The usual forms were filled in and my identity thoroughly checked before i was allowed to put on the ubiquitous backless nightie and begin the long wait.
I was informed that I was first on the afternoon list. To my knowledge ther is no morning one as a. the surgeons don't come in until midmorning and then they have to do the post op rounds. So anyway, at around 12.30, just as everyone else was being fed, i was walked up to the other end of the vast corridor and sat in a chair to wait. i was eventually put on a table at around 3.30, having finished all the crosswords and worked myself into a state. The next think i know is that i am being woken, back in the ward, with the whole world whirling around in circles. Threatre nurses stay a while to make sure that you are alive and breathing and then vanish, never to be seen again.

Periods of sleep, then waking as the ward fills and empties again, weird dreams and strange sensations come and go and then you are on your own again, left to sleep. If only that were possible!!

Hospital wards are, hot, light, and noisy. The staff talk loudly and to make matters worse, someone decided to dig up the road outside at around midnight. Any chance of sleep after that was destroyed by the guy in the next bed who snored loudly all night. Never before has a night seemed so long.

Sometime in the early hours, I needed to pee. Tentatively I got to my feet noticing that there was blood all over my pillow. I tottered out like an inebriate, past three nurses sitting at a desk, who kindly asked if I was ok. I said that I thought so but there was blood all over my pillow. I made the desperately required pit stop and while washing my hands noticed my heavily bandaged head and streams of red stuff running down my neck. So I wandered back, past said nurses and found that they had changed my pillow. No-one seemed interested in the cause of the bleeding so I went back to bed.

It seems from the stitching, that my ear was sliced away and folded forwards and glued to my face before they dug out the stuff that was causing the problem. Alas the damage was extensive and i have lost all of the functionality of the ear. Still better than the consequences of not having it done.

The ear is still bleeding and i am still dizzy, but thankfully there is no pain as yet. I have a sillier haircut than before and one ear sticks out so I look and feel a different person, but I am still here and can still put a few words together so i will not complain.

Thank you for all of your support, i appreciate that very much.