Sunshine

It is a sunny day, rare for the time of year and for that all the more welcome. I will spend it in and around my cave, oblivious to the chaos that rages beyond and that suits me quite well. It is getting harder to be me, and I am turning into someone else, slowly but surely a transformation is taking place, but unlike the metamorphosis of a butterfly, it feels as though some sort of reversal is taking place and that a cocoon is forming, thread by thread.

The loss of an ear doesn't seem much of an issue. It is a disability that doesn't show and as a result cannot be understood by others. Most of the time, when i am alone, or in conversation with one person, things are fine. However as soon as there is any sort of background noise, music, traffic, chatter etc, i am lost. The background dominates and that excludes me from whatever else might be going on. That is all very well, but people don't seem to understand that I have good reasons for withdrawing, or not attending social functions where I know that i cannot participate.

And so i write. My writing course is progressing and I have a final assignment to produce in January. That is quite a tall order as it involves the writing of an opening chapter and the plotting out of a novel. Maybe the hope is that from little acorns, some small oaks might grow. I read the other day that the world is awash with new writing and that publishers are turning things away in unprecedented quantities. Clearly more and more people are in retreat, bashing out words on their PCs locked away in their own caves.

This reminds me of a wonderful episode of Hancock's Half Hour, where Tony Hancock decides to become a hermit. Other people see what a lovely lifestyle he is enjoying and before long, the woods fill up with hermits. The inevitable happens- a supermarket opens and then a cinema.

I have done the housework, now waiting for the floors to dry so that I can move out of the office. Not sure what to fritter away the rest of the day on, any ideas?