'Tis the season to be a prat

I have tried hard to exercise restraint, and have got as far as today without mentioning the unmentionable festival that parts fools from their money, and also from their wits, seemingly for the whole of the months of November and December every year without fail.
OK I don't get out much, and these days that is a positive choice on my part, but I do poke my nose out of my cave now and then, only to withdraw it quickly and for a much longer time.
What is it that possesses people to walk around with red felt hats covered in cotton wool as soon as an R appears in the month? I can understand the needs of the shopkeepers, struggling to make a living, trying to tempt people into buying what no sane person would normally even look at, but surely there is a limit to how much crap people will actually find room for?
One of my pet hates hit me between the eyes last night as i went out to the pub. Houses festooned with muticoloured lights, inflatable Homer Simpsons, Bambi, fat Santa Clauses, multiple reindeer running over rooftops in the rain and the grossly huge snowmen. Some house here are positively dangerous. Turn a corner at night and you can be temporarily blinded by the sheer power of some of these displays, not to mention the distinct possibility of throwing up at the incredible lack of taste.

How do people afford it? With energy prices having risen through the roof, i can only imagine that many of these offenders are bypassing their electricity meters or even tapping into the empty house next door.

There are 16 million households in the uk, and if we exclude those of a Muslim nature, an estimate of one million remain. Now if each of these houses has a small display of lights on their Norway Spruce or their Woolworths, tinsel tat, then I reckon that just for trees alone, there is a power usage of 2000 MW. That is approximately twice the output of a major power station. THis does not even begin to account for the high street lights, the shop displays and the hundreds of thousands of Griswald wannabees that pollute every city, town and village in the country. It is probable that several power stations are required, just to feed this fetish. People say they are concerned about carbon emissions, but at this time of the year it seems to have been forgotten.

It is a peak time for suicides, burglaries, car theft, and violent crime. It is a Christian festival and yet only a small fraction of the population are practicing Christians. Churches open their doors to everyone of course, and for one service, on Christmas eve, the places are full of people, many travelling there on a wave of alcohol, and then twenty four hours later it is all over.

I remember a commentator making observations on the British at this time of year. He got is so right when he referred to a two month build up to a day when people eat too much, drink too much and then fall asleep in front of the TV.

Please don't try to tell me that it is a season of goodwill. Try shopping on the saturdays remaining before the 25th, and watch the scowling faces, the harrassed mothers, the bored husbands, the pushing and barging, the shouting and raving that are commonplace. It is a season of greed, of pseudo-bonhommie, and of huge stress and financial ruin.

Merry ..........king Christmas to you all.