2008

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

The English language is made so much more colourful by little sayings and truisms that may be lost on people not intimately familiar with it.

I have been ill since before December 25th. I guess that I was struck down by one of the many pernicious Viruses that the air seems filled with at this time of the year. It started with a sore throat and progressed from there, through a range of symptoms that I will not begin to describe, but suffice it to say that I have not eaten for four days.

Having a fair knowledge of the workings of the human body and the nasty things that can happen to it, means that I am always on the lookout for trouble, and so during the course of this recent bout of misery, i have imagined all sorts of causes for the series of discomforts that i have been through. Having a headache while feeling sick, got me looking for a rash that didn't exist, and a cramp in my right arm gave me a momentary cause for panic.

I am not a hypochondriac, in fact I am quite the reverse in the main. I will do anything to avoid taking pills and medicines, and have to be dragged screaming and kicking to visit doctors and hospitals, but the imagination is a scary thing and being a pessimist, I always imagine the worst possible scenario.

I am at a stage in life now where any illness could potentially be my last. In biological terms, i am redundant and therefore just a burden on the ecosystem. To all intents and purposes I am useless and therefore it is natural that my resources should be returned for recycling. Knowing this does help a little and I do not fear death. I fear the process of dying as I guess we all do, but I no longer have a sense that I have more to achieve.

This all sounds terribly maundlin, and was not what I set out to write but I guess it is time I tried to ingest more fuel. Maybe then i will feel more positive and ready to face a challenge, should any be put in my way.

One day, there will be a final entry in this blog, such things are inevitable. If this should be it then thank you for reading it.