Not a rant

I am spending this evening working on a website that I created a long while ago for a friend. It is at times like this when i am reminded of my frailties and shortcomings, which i know are legion, but my bugbear is really one of disorganisation. I Hardly ever write things down. I never have, apart from in this instrument called a blog. The result of my laziness/ineptitude is of course that I forget things. I forget where things are and worse, how i did something, and so as a result, every time I make alterations i am really starting almost from fresh.

Clearly I am at the moment taking a break from it as my brain is hurting somewhat, and i thought I'd spend a few idle moments rabbiting on about something or other. I suppose i could write about my faults and failings but that would take far too long, and I'd rather leave that to others, who can relish the put downs.

At my advanced age, illness in oneself and in ones peers seems to be the natural way of things, and, as bodies and minds wear out, we slow down and become damaged so very easily. I am getting used to the fact and know that sooner or later some other part will fail and i will wind up in the care of the health system. They used to say that you should never buy a car that was made on a friday - (as if you had any choice) on the grounds that workers on friday were more likely to be careless and do sloppy jobs. I have a theory that I was either born or conceived on a friday! I would look up the birthday but can't be bothered and frankly, i really do not want to know anything about my conception. i know that it was an accident and that some people believed that it was a big mistake, but it happened. Like the friday made cars I have a body that is falling apart and an engine that probably needs a rebuild. I use good fuel and am generally well oiled but it makes no difference. i am still rolling downhill towards the scrapheap.

What concerns me more are friends, good friends, much younger than I , who have had more than their fair share of health issues. That does not seem fair to me, and my heart goes out to those who live in pain and fear for their own failing systems.

I often think about death and dying, as with certainty, it gets ever nearer, and I hope that i can approach it with some dignity. I have no fear of the end and no expectations of an afterlife, especially not one that includes dozens of virgins (perish the thought), but maybe like most people, I am not too keen on the journey.

I know that i have generally been lucky and have had a good life and for that i am thankful. i have met so many wonderful people and had some amazing experiences, I have a mind that works from time to time, i have some basic skills that are still of some use, and i still have most of my faculties. I have no cause for complaint.