I woke up this morning to a disappointment. All but one of my lettuce seedlings have been eaten by slugs. Why did they leave that one I wonder? Maybe it's a mutant variety that is slug repellant, or maybe the little bastards were just too full to finish it off and will be back later when I am not looking. I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't nurtured them from seed and then carefully pricked them out and planted them with love and care and much mumbling under my breath. Well that does it - it is a declaration of war. From this point in time the mullusc is my sworn enemy and there will be no more prisoners. Forget Guantanamo Bay, from here on in it's genocide.
Some people swear by old cigarette ends soaked in water - I don't smoke. Others use beer traps - a waste of good beer. I could go around after dark with a torch, pick them up by hand and throw them over the fence into the neighbours gardens, but the way things are going for me right now they'd not only come back but bring a load of mates with them. No these treatments are too good and too kind. I am going to resort to chemical warfare. Slug pellets are the gardeners equivalent of Sarin, and I propose to liberally sprinkle these agents of death in every nook and cranny that I can find. That means that every slug, snail and any other misplaced molluscs wandering about in my empty lettuce patch will meet a slow and lingering death. I can only hope that it will serve as a lesson to any survivors and that they will pass that message on to future generations.
No comments:
Post a Comment